Preparations

Well, I am busy, and nothing is working out.  We are gearing up to go to the family cabin over the holidays so hubby and DS can get in two weeks of trapping.  In the past we have gone out for a week over Thanksgiving, but you barely get the traps set out when you have to pull up stakes (literally) and come home.  We were hoping that two solid weeks will give them a real trapping experience and DS might get that bobcat he has really been wanting.  He wouldn’t mind a coyote either, but he’d be more excited over the bobcat.  When hubby and I went out to the cabin the beginning of October we heard a coyote quite regularly.  We were only there three days, but it was encouraging.  When we went out at the end of October to winterize, we heard it again.  Hopefully they will be able to bag him.

Money has been short.  It’s causing problems in preparation.  I wanted to have quite a few more things to take on this trip with us — a waterproof camera so they can take pictures of their sets for future reference and pictures of any animals caught, waterproof radios so they can call in to homebase on a regular basis and I’m not sitting at the cabin worrying my head off imagining all kinds of catastrophes, a few survival items in case they would get stuck out in the woods overnight.  Oh well.  I will give hubby my lighter and they will have to make due.  I also wanted a few items for my own enjoyment — I have six CDs of holiday music picked out on Amazon, and a couple journaling books.  I will also have to make due.

I’ve been busy crocheting items for Christmas orders and gifts so I haven’t had much time to sit down and make a list of things I need to get and take with us — foodstuffs mostly.  I like to buy locally when we are at the cabin, but there are a few things that we can’t get out there that I want to take with us.  With it only being days before Christmas when we go, it is best to take Christmas dinner essentials with us.  A couple years ago when we went out for Thanksgiving I waited till we got there to shop for green beans, and there weren’t any in the store, and it was four days before Thanksgiving.  So no green bean casserole that year.  I will be taking the pumpkin pie with us.  Not sure if we could find the brand we want, or if there will be any in the freezers at all.

I have plenty of crochet projects to take with me, and I will be sure to pack an assortment of videos to keep me occupied as I stitch away.  I just have to wonder how much trouble I will have keeping the dog from trying to track hubby and DS when I take him out to go potty.  *sigh*

Home Again ~~

Well, the last week has been busy and eventful.  Hubby “graduated” last Tuesday from his carpentry school at Camp Dawson and we managed to get out a little after noon.  We stopped by the Oldies Diner on Rt. 50 for lunch and hurried for home so we could get back in time to get our son to karate.  We had been gone for a month and I really missed our karate family.  Felt like we’d been gone for a year.  I was looking forward to getting back and settling back into routine.  It was nice to see our friends again.  We got home from karate almost at 11pm.  A lot changes in a month, and we discovered that our on-ramp to our exit was closed due to construction that was taking place between 8pm and 6am.  Okay, I don’t consider it any biggie, I just switch to the left lane and proceed to get onto Piedmont Rd. to go the back way.  Well, a couple miles down the road the bridge is closed off, so therefore we had to turn down Dry Branch hollow.  Now, I’m thinking that there HAS to be a way to get from Dry Branch to Campbells Creek, but I don’t have a clue how.  We pull up to the DOH sign shop gate to get under the security light to get a look at our topo map (yup, when you are married to a drill sergeant who teaches land-nav a normal road map won’t do), and a security guard walks up, so hubby just asks him and he gives us directions.  Gap View Drive was our ticket home.  So, we learned a new route home.  Thanks to Dad I know about 3-4 ways to just about anywhere in the area I would ever need to go, but am always game to broadening my horizons.

Wednesday morning we got up early to go back-to-school shopping for my son.  Hubby and I are waiting in the car, and Mom gets in.  Hubby asks her where our son is (he had been staying with her while we were gone and he was still at her house)  She says he’s still in bed.  I’m like, “How are we going to buy him new jeans if he isn’t with us?” So she goes back in the house and gets him up, delaying us about 20 minutes.  We get to Walmart and get him outfitted.  We went to Sam’s so we could get a Keurig to take to the cabin with us.  Hubby got spoiled with the mini Keurig I got to take to Dawson with us.  We then go to Michael’s were I pick up some yarn for projects I want to do for the upcoming craft show, then we go to Books A Million.  Lunch at Chick-fil-A, then home.  It was then that we realized we forgot to stop by Robert’s Running and Walking Shop so hubby could get good running shoes for his PT tests.  So we ran out again, got him fitted for shoes, bought a pair, came back and loaded the car.  We finally pulled out about 4:30pm to leave for the cabin.

We had a nice weekend in the woods.  Didn’t really want to come home.  The cabin feels more like home to me with each passing year.  I’m tired of the rat-race of “city” living.  Maybe someday….

The Home Stretch

Well, I haven’t been writing here much because I can’t post pictures, for whatever reason, and it’s a downer.  Want to show the crochet I’ve been doing.  But we’re entering the home stretch.  Just a little over a week left to be here on base.  I don’t look forward to packing.  Ick.

Base Living

So, someone found my blog and contacted me.  Said she enjoyed reading it, but I hadn’t updated in over a year.  So here I am, updating.

I’m currently at Camp Dawson, WV with my hubby who is taking a school with the National Guard.  So I’m here for a month, sitting in the room watching tv (or dvds) and crocheting.  The annoying thing is that housekeeping has been coming in every day.  For an introvert like me, it’s an invasion I don’t appreciate.  Every third day would be plenty.  However, I do feel like I might be getting cheated.  When we arrived and I sat on the bed, I immediately noticed a problem.  The mattress creaks.  Yes, it is probably actually the “box spring” portion of the bed, though I don’t believe it’s a box spring.  It’s the creaking of wood that I’m hearing.  So every time you move, there is creaking.  Very annoying.  A couple days ago I saw some mattresses out by the dumpster.  Yesterday, there were some out in the yard in front of our building.  I’m beginning to wonder if our room isn’t due for a new mattress but they will wait until we leave.  If that is true, I feel cheated.

I’m working on an afghan a friend ordered as a wedding gift.  Can’t wait to finish it.  I wish I could post a picture, but for some reason they aren’t coming through.  Will have to research that.

Well, I did go to the help page, and pics on that page weren’t showing up either, so I guess I’ll have to wait until I get home to see if I need to work on them.  The filter the army uses for internet connections is very annoying and I suspect that is what is causing my pics to look like “X” to me.

Bittersweet Week

On Wednesday I attended a funeral for a dear lady I had known all my life.  This lovely woman was small of stature, but big of heart.  We had attended the same church for almost twenty years.  I grew up having this woman in my life, like a second grandmother.  She was a grandmother to everyone in that church.  She was a mighty preacher and prayer warrior.  She talked the talk, but more importantly, she walked the walk.  Almost every week she gave powerful testimonies in church, but the most powerful of all was her life.

Her funeral was held in an out-of-the-way small town.  It took us about two hours to drive there.  Not for one moment did it cross our mind that it was too far and that we could just skip going.  To miss her memorial would have been like not going to my own grandmother’s funeral.  It was important to honor and remember this dear lady.

It was a small country funeral home.  Quaint.  A lot like her.  Not many people there, pretty much just family.  Her grandson, an evangelist, delivered the message.  I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for him to do it, but he did a fantastic job.  Yes, he was emotional at times, but you could tell that the Spirit was carrying him through.  The same Spirit that had been so powerfully evident in her life, a connection that would continue to bind them even though she had passed on.  He said that her life, her character, could be made into an acrostic — LOVE.  L was for listening.  There was no better listener than Grandma Daisy.  O was for overlooking faults.  Along with that went forgiveness.  We should all take a lesson from that.  I don’t remember what his “V” was, but I came up with one — Vibrant testimony.  That is the first thing I think of when I think of her.  A dynamo in a tiny package.  E was for encourager, and she was most definitely that!  The last three summers I was in high school I worked as a CEF Summer Missionary.  I had to raise my own support for the summer, which required a certain amount of money as well as enlisting prayer partners who would pledge to pray for me on a daily basis.  It was like pulling teeth to get the commitments I needed for prayer partners (though the money came in hand over fist) but it never failed that she was the first one to sign up right after the list was put out front.  When I went to college she would send me encouragement cards.  They always came when I most needed them.

I haven’t been to that church for some time.  I grew up, life took me in a different direction.  I married and made commitments elsewhere.  One day my Mom told me that she had been talking to someone from our old home church and said that there were several people who were concerned that Grandma Daisy might be developing dementia or some other mental unstability.  It wouldn’t have been surprising given her age and declining health.  I asked her what she was doing that they would think that.  She told me that Granny was getting up in church, shouting, singing, clapping her hands.  I looked at her in amazement.  “She’s always done that!”  She wasn’t doing anything different, but sadly, that was how much that church had changed, for them to be made uncomfortable by a saint of God obeying the moving of the Spirit and praising her Lord.

Some time later, I can’t remember if it was weeks or a few months, we attended homecoming services at that church.  Glenn Mathews, an evangelist that grew up in the church, was speaking, and I always like to go hear him if I have the chance.  My family and I went several nights.  The messages were really good, as they always are, but each night I left with the nagging feeling something wasn’t right.  The service seemed incomplete, unfulfilled, and I couldn’t put my finger on it.  Then, the last night, he gave a sermon on being obedient to the Spirit.  At the end of the message Granny got up, shouting and clapping and praising God, and that is when I burst into tears.  At that moment I knew, when I heard the first “Well, Glory!” that that was what I’d been missing all week.  That night the service was complete.  I hugged her and thanked her.  I was heartbroken to think that this dear saint of God had been bullied by the gossip of those in her church into sitting still and remaining silent when she should have been praising her Lord.  That night was like a dam bursting at the seams and spilling forth, and I was grateful to be caught in the raging rapids.

Things will never be the same at that church, and that is a thing to be grieved over.  Things will never be the same in this world, and that is something to be concerned for.  An age has come to an end.

When my Mom told me that Granny had passed, the first thing that came to mind was Enoch.

And Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him.  Genesis 5:24

And I have to wonder if his legacy gives us any indication of what we have to look forward to.  Enoch’s son was Methuselah, the oldest man to ever live.  Shortly after he died, the Great Flood came on the earth.  It was like God was holding off the judgment until his beloved saint passed on.  I see a lot of similarity.  God does withhold judgment in deference to a saint, but once that saint has gone home, watch out!

What has made Granny’s passing even more bittersweet is that she passed away June 8, one day before the 21st anniversary of my Father’s passing.  Their homegoings will be inevitably entwined in my memory from now on.  I had been thinking a lot about my Dad this year.  How he has now been gone from my life longer than he was in it, though his memory and influence carry on.  How sad I am that he never knew his grandson, and more importantly, that his grandson never knew him.  So, I carried memories of my Dad, and his loss, to the funeral of Grandma Daisy.  But can anyone imagine the jubilee they are having in Heaven right now?  Someday we will join them.

Why are Women Unhappy?

I read an interesting article:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marcus-buckingham/whats-happening-to-womens_b_289511.html

He doesn’t make any conclusions, just posts statistics, and they seem to be saying that even though women have gained more “freedoms” through “women’s lib” they are less happy than they were before it.  For me, that makes complete sense.

My personal philosphy of life is based on the Bible.  Not “Christianity,” but the Bible.  Let me explain.  Christianity means different things to different people.  For some it means the Catholic Church.  For others they think of  the extremist Westboro Baptist Church.  People who do not have a true experience with Jesus Christ, the diversity of “Christianity” can be very confusing.  That is why I emphasize the Bible and not “Christianity.”  Unfortunately people misinterpret and misuse the Bible in the name of Christianity.

That being said, my personal view of a woman’s place and purpose varies greatly from that of the world.  No, the Biblical view is not that a woman’s place is in the home, barefoot and pregnant.  The Bible gives women great freedom, but also protection.  From what you might ask?  From ourselves!!  A woman’s nature is as a nurturer.  A woman wants to make things right for everyone around her, those she cares about.  We as women tend to take on more than we should because we want to help, we can be guilted into it, etc.  We also tend to cause more problems by trying to “help.”  Enabling is just one example.  Then we have that “rescue complex” where we think we can help our husbands improve themselves or get our kids to be better.  We cannot change anyone, no matter what we do or how hard we try, unless they want to be changed.  But yet we try.  That leads to frustration on the part of everyone.  This adds stress.

A woman’s role in the home, outside the home, is up to her and her husband.  There are some women who thrive in a business environment and don’t cope well with domestic issues.  A husband’s disability may necessitate that the woman be the main wage-earner.  But this is something that needs to be decided between them.  This is why choosing the right man is so important.  You have to be in agreement with his goals.  The two of you need to have common vision.  Now, if you are unmarried, you are pretty much your own boss, but keep in mind that your choices may be holding you back from finding the right man for you.

I think the biggest reason women are unhappy is that they feel they have the live up to the “women’s lib” mentality — they have to be in the workforce.  I knew a young lady many years ago who was expecting a baby and after it was born was going to finish college and get into the workforce to be a “contributing member of society.”  I was floored.  Society basically tells us that if we aren’t working outside the home we aren’t contributing to society.  How about raising socially responsible adults??  Isn’t that contributing to society?  Instead, we have kids being raised by strangers, who don’t know their parents, and end up as behavioral problems.  I saw a headline online the other day where a parent admitted that the kid did better for the day care workers than she did for her parent!  YES, there are some women who HAVE to work outside the home and have to put their kids in day care.  I am not judging them.  I am talking about the ones who have a choice and choose a job or career over motherhood.  Realistically once a kid goes to middle school you can go back to work if you really want to, but take the time to be there for that child 24/7 during the really important formative years.

What my rant really comes down to is that we shouldn’t let society dictate whether we work outside the home or not.  We shouldn’t let them create the standards that measure our worth.  I can’t tell you what it meant to me, growing up, to know that my Mom was at home and if I needed her I could get in touch with her.  When I got sick in school, Mom was there within 10 minutes to take me home.  I was bundled up, medicated, fed and hydrated.  That told me I was important and valued.  I wanted to make sure I gave that to my child as well.  I think we’d have much less youth crime if our parents were investing themselves into their children.  That equates to time and sacrifice, not giving them things to make up for not being around.  Nothing replaces the giving of yourself to you child.

So, to sum up, we as women need to discover who we are and be true to that, not letting society pressure us into living up to their expectations.  I am a housewife and mother.  I help my husband and my son.  I also have my own interests — like crochet — that I have expanded into as my child needs me less.  Seeing my son grow into a well-adjusted young man with morals is worth more than the world to me.

Fifteen Things to Give Up

Someone shared an interesting article with me:

http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/

Seems interesting to me that someone would post this.  My observation of society reveals that people are caught up with themselves.  They are the centers of their own little universes, and when they collide with other universes, that’s when the sparks fly!  Kind of like stars crashing into each other.  People are self-consumed.  They want things on their time schedule and with as little effort as possible.  Everyone seems to be going around with the attitude of “I’m owed.”  Huh??

This article pretty much is telling people — get over yourselves!  Let go.  Most of the items I have done for the majority of my life.  But then, I’m a person that avoids conflict as much as possible.  It doesn’t mean I just roll over.  If it’s a cause worth fighting for, I’m there.  But most things are not worth fighting for, it’s easier and healthier to say “whatever” and just walk away.

Interestingly, predominantly this article (though the author may not realize it) is promoting being considerate of your fellow man.  Something good old fashioned courtesy accomplished.  When is the last time that value was taught?

I guess my two struggles would be the resistence to change, and attachments.  I don’t like change.  When I like something the way it is, I don’t like it to change.  That creates stress for me.

Overall, it’s an article most people in society need to hear and heed.  But I’m not holding my breath.

Relationships

I just read an interesting article:

http://thecollegeconservative.com/2012/03/15/underage-dating-the-elephant-in-the-social-conservative-living-room/

 

This touches on something I’ve felt strongly about for some time.  It has gotten stronger since I know have a teenage son.  When I was going through junior high and high school, I wanted a boyfriend desperately.  Boys didn’t give me the time of day, for the most part.  But everyone around me had boyfriends, girlfriends, were in and out of relationships.  Of course, at that age I didn’t recognize that boys that age are only interested in one thing.  I wanted an emotinonal connection.  I wanted someone special to talk to and share my life with.  I wanted a best friend that I could hold hands with and go on romantic walks and look at the stars at night.  Innocent stuff.  God was looking out for me, though I didn’t realize it, and I spent those years in frustration.  Of course, the other side to that was I wondered what was wrong with me since boys never gave me a second glance.

I got to college, and while I was more mature in many ways, I was still naive and didn’t have any relational experience.  I got my first boyfriend my sophomore year.  He had had several girlfriends, in high school and a couple since being at college.  I didn’t stop to think what that might mean.  From the moment he asked me to date him and I said “yes” he was pushing the “I love you.”  I was like, hold on there!  I agreed to date him because I enjoyed being with him and we seemed to have a lot in common.  We had become friends that year and started spending a lot of time together, but I was no where near where I could say I love you.  To me, saying that was a commitment.  I had seen kids in high school saying I love you to their significant other, and then a week later had broken up and wouldn’t even speak to each other.  That isn’t love!  You can’t love a person one moment and not love them the next.  At most that is infatuation or lust.  Love doesn’t fluctuate like that.  Real love is in it for the long haul and overcomes obstacles.  For me, I couldn’t say I love you until I felt fairly confident I wanted a long term commitment to him — like the first step toward marriage.  I seemed to be the only person who felt and saw things that way.

As a mom now, I see the pressure on our kids.  My son is 15.  He doesn’t have a girlfriend, nor does he really want one.  He tells us that he doesn’t want to even think about girlfriends until he gets out of high school.  Honestly, I think the major reason is that he hasn’t found a girl he likes, and that is a good thing.  He doesn’t need to get caught up in the idea that you have to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship.  We have told him for a long time that he isn’t allowed to date for some time.  We’ve explained to him that he needs to get to know people before thinking about dating anyone in particular.  But you wouldn’t believe the pressure he is under from his friends and even older guys.  Weekly he is being told, you need a girlfriend!  Fortunately my son isn’t one to give in to peer pressure when he has convictions about something.  But I hate that he has this pressure on him.

I have a friend who has a teenage girl.  She has been told from a young age that she is not allowed to date anyone until her parents meet the boy.  However, she has still “dated” boys at school.  The “dating” has been relegated to simply hanging out and talking at school, but she still considers them having been her boyfriend and she calls them “ex’s”  This is a direct result of peer influence.  It’s what her friends are doing, it’s how her friends are talking, and she’s falling in step with them instead of listening to what her parents have told her.  It IS for her protection and best interest, but fitting in is more important to her.  That and the need for acceptance.  I see her as much like myself when I was her age — the desperate desire for a special boy to shower all his attention on me and be that best friend to hold hands with.  But she is too young and naive to realize that at this age boys are only interested in one thing and will constantly be trying to get in her pants.  If she doesn’t give in, they will move on to someone they think they have a better chance with.  Sometimes guys never outgrow this.  This is why it is so important to get to know people before making any kind of commitment.

Things didn’t work out with my first boyfriend.  I was a little too naive at the time, a naivity that comes from inexperience.  I’m not sure exactly how to make kids savvy without the experience, but I guess we parents will keep trying.  My best friend decided that her kids were not going to date, they were going to do courting.  Courting is a very old fashioned tradition, one very out of vogue in today’s society.  Most don’t completely understand the concept, they rank it right up there with arranged marriages (which I’m not sure isn’t a good idea in some respects! j/k)  But courting means that you don’t date around.  You spend time getting to know a variety of people in various settings and then decide to commit to one person.  Now that I have some age and experience on me, courting should have been the way for me to go, but like I said, it was a foreign concept at that time.  I am a person who can’t take the roller coaster of dating people.  My first relationship failed.  It was also short lived.  Things went too far, too fast and it burnt itself out like a supernova.  I probably went out on five dates in the next three years, but none of them serious.  Then a friend I’d lost contact with got back in touch with me.  We spent a couple months getting reacquainted.  I hadn’t seen or heard from him in three years.  When we had been in college together we had hung around in the same group of friends, so he was a friend I felt I could call on at any time for any reason, but we hadn’t been especially close.  But in a short amount of time he expressed interest in dating me.  I turned him down.  I saw him as a big brother figure.  I couldn’t wrap my head around romance with him.  It felt icky just to think about.  So he agreed to just stay friends and there was no pressure.  We just let the relationship progress naturally.  I can’t tell you exactly when my feelings changed, but eventually they did and we did start dating.  We will have been married 16 years at the end of this month.  And it was this experience that showed me that becoming a friend first helps build the best relationships.

I’ve seen many married couples who are basically just roommates with benefits.  I often ask myself, why did they get married?  Yeah, they say they got married because they were in love.  I think they mistook “love” for “lust.”  Your spouse should be your best friend.  There has to be more to a relationship than sex, otherwise it won’t last.  And that is where our society is today.

Now, the question is, how do we change it?